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Some people don’t want to chance getting herpes, some people can.Being human involves having a smorgas-borde of characteristics that make us up.How presumptuous are we to make the decision for our potential lovers by taking ourselves out of the general dating population? In the dating world, some people have deal breakers and pet peeves that they just can’t be with.Let them make that decision for themselves about whether or not they want to be with you (just the same decision that you’ll make if you want to be with them, by the way). Some people can’t tolerate kissing smokers, some people can.And everyone’s got baggage and skeletons in the closet, too. Herpes just happens to be one of those shame candidates for us.There are plenty of things that I’d rather not “admit to” on the very first date before the prospective partner has had a chance to get to know the real me, the deep-down me.
This is confirmed by our members who have found successful relationships.
Despite this unfortunate reality, you really should set aside a good chunk of time to dedicate to filling out your online profile if you really want to find a compatible mate. How do you accurately describe yourself without coming off as arrogant or boring?
Think of it this way: as you’re perusing profiles looking for someone who might make a good match, do you contact the people with hardly anything in their profiles? There’s no formula for this; all I can say is do not try to be someone you think others want you to be.
I was excited to see some great conversation happening in the comments of my piece “The Top Three Mistakes Men Make in Online Dating.” Both men and women shared their experiences with online dating and debated over the mistakes and fixes I offered in the piece. How do you reconcile a trillion different preferences in order to offer men advice on what to do to be successful with online dating? All I can do is set some parameters and offer my advice based on my own experiences and hope that it helps at least a few guys out there.
Throughout it all, what became most apparent during the discussion is that men didn’t want a “don’t” list. What they really want is some advice on what I hesitated to even write this piece because what people like is far more subjective than what people don’t like. To that end, this is my list “to do’s” for people (yes, people, not just men) who are trying to find a long-term partner using an online dating site:1.
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